I missed Florence’s first day of school last week as we both started our new adventures on the same day. I felt a massive amount of guilt about this and although I know she is unlikely to remember this, I will remember.
As the week progressed I felt a strain in our relationship. I was missing her. I was also feeling guilty for leaving every morning before she went to school and getting back well into the bedtime routine. From what the wife was telling me, Flo was also missing me which just added to my guilty feelings.
It all came to a head on Wednesday when we had a nightime battle. She was being a bugger with me and I did not handle it well at all. It left me feeling pretty shit.
Basically I was feeling guilty for not being there, I was missing her and some part of me felt she was pissed off at me. That night I just wanted a nice relaxing time with her where we chatted and cuddled before she feel asleep. I wanted to feel like she was my friend still. So when she began messing about and playing up it tapped into how I was feeling and instead of handling it in a positive way I did the complete opposite and created a worse situation and left Flo and I both feeling shit.
I felt awful that night and the next morning until Flo woke up and came downstairs and said sorry to me. It nearly broke my heart. I apologised to her as well and we had a big cuddle and things have been a lot better since.
Thinking back on it now we both probably just wanted the same thing; to have a chat and cuddle because we missed each other but we were tired, had both had a busy few days, adjusting to a and just went about it all wrong.
And I think that’s often the cause of a lot of problems in a number of relationships. We want the same things we just go about it the wrong way. Either because we are feeling shitty or guilty or whatever or just communicate things in the wrong way. It’s not because we are awful people.
When it does happen don’t beat yourself up to much. Be compassionate towards yourself, say sorry when you get chance and to sweeten any apology, chocolates are always a good idea.